From: The Trenches

Three years of art and animation school. One year of game art and design. I’m finally here. After a good chunk of my young life I am finally in the videogame industry. I worked my ass off for my post secondary life, casting aside relationships and friendships. I’ve lost most people that ever said they were close to me. They didn’t appreciate the 18 hour days of dedicating my life to this “abstract” thing.

I graduated top of my class in game art and was hired by a developer one week out of school. I walked into that new job, talked to my senior environment artist and the first words out of his mouth were “Yeah, I’m going to need you to come in on Saturday. We have a milestone coming up, and we really need to get this done.”

I worked my ass off, as did my fellow co-workers. I’d see them working 13, 14, 15 hour days without even breaking a sweat, all with their own families and responsibilities at home. We never really complained, we just did it. Was this all worth it?

Yes. Absolutely. Never in my life have I experienced such a group of like minded people, so bent on pushing themselves to their limits so that in the end the product ships and does well. From QA to programmers to management, every single person at this studio wanted to be there. Never in my life have i experienced such joy from producing my own art. Seeing it placed into a video game and having people come up and congratulating your small team on making something that never existed before.

Never have I met people who adored what they did, each and everyday they would walk in with the biggest smile on their face, or the funniest story to tell all their friends.

Each and every day was a joy to be there, even during the really shitty times.

Unfortunately (as is the nature of the industry) this small to mid sized company went under. Our publisher pulled their contract, and 90 people were out of work. I saw all those people who I had the pleasure of calling my friend lose their job.

What shocked me was the response from each and every person there to what they would miss most. It wasn’t the income (which wasn’t spectacular) it was not the location, but it was the environment. You make this place a home, and the people in it a family whether you like to or not. You place your trust in these people to work to the best of their abilities to deliver. You see them in their lowest and in their highest. Every single person there was sad, because the next week they wouldn’t see their friends at their place of work.

Fortunately most of those people found work (I’m not one of them sadly), and they’ve all moved on to their new families. I guarantee if you were to ask 90% of those people if what they do was worth it, you’d hear the same response. “I wouldn’t do anything else”.

From: The Trenches

This is why I love the industry I work in.

From: The Grind Haus

James: “I got a fan letter, from a young lady. It was a suicide note. So I uh, I called her. I said, ‘Hey this is Jimmy Doohan. Scotty of Star Trek.’ I said, ‘I’m doing a con in Indianapolis. I want you to be there.’ I saw her and, I couldn’t believe what I saw. She was definitely suicidal. Somebody had to help her somehow. And obviously she wasn’t going to the right people. Anyhow I said, ‘I’m doing a convention two weeks from now in St. Louis.’ Two weeks from then and something and then she came to New York. And she was able to afford to go to these places. And this went on for two or three years. Maybe eighteen times. And all I did was talk to her, positive things. And then all of a sudden, ZIP. Nothing. I didn’t hear anything I didn’t know what was happening cause I never saved her address. Eight years later I get a letter saying, ‘I do want to thank you so much for what you did for me, because I just got my masters in electronic engineering.’ You know, to me, thats the best thing I have ever done in my life. And it brings tears to my eyes every time I even talk about the story.”

This is my idea of true heroism.

Waiting and writing

The unusually comfortable chair

To say that I’ve “struggled” with weight loss would be a complete lie. When I actually try it tends to be a remarkable change in a relatively small amount of time. It’s just I lose the desire or passion to keep it up, which I could attribute to a number of things but really it just boils down to just caring less, and then forgetting I cared at all, until I look in the mirror again a few months or more later.
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From: These Moments Define Us & More

I’m convinced this is the answer to so many peoples sorrow and depression. I tend to have a bit of a tough love attitude when it comes to certain aspects of life. This is one of them.
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Success

Quote

“If there is one thing I have learned by doing instead of dreaming is that success that is worked on for years and is slow to come is much easier forgotten and looked over than instant gratification. The instant wins, the lottery drawings are poignant. You can define them with a specific date and time they happened to you. You can look back and say, “this is the moment…” When you’re working on long term goals you tend to forget what the desired ending was, it’s easy to do so, it can be hard to see anything more than a few feet or a few days in front of you. Weight loss is a big one for a lot of people. You set a goal of a 30 or 40 pounds loss and there tends to be two endings with people. The ones that dedicate every moment and thought to the process and dramatically lose the weight, look in the mirror and see the quick success, they are the ones that say, “yep, today I am my goal weight” and easily define their success. Then there are the people that make slow subtle changes in their lifestyle that gradually bring them down in weight sometimes over a year or more. They learn what they can incorporate into their lives over time and unfortunately a lot of these people quit because they don’t see results instantly. They don’t quickly have a moment on the scale to think, look at me. Both of these people can achieve success but the idea is to never forget your goals. Goals can change and I guarantee most will, but to give up on them is the only futile choice you can make.”

– S.H.Case

01.01.2012 Notes and A Thought About Blogs

If I was ever asked to divide my life up into significant chunks I’m not entirely sure where I would begin. Middle school and high school seems like a significant time when I felt capable of making my own decisions and started to develop my own personality. When I moved out of my home state shortly after that seems like the time I was really able to put those thoughts and ideas into practice without confinement of predetermined results. The last nearly 10 years seem appropriately considered the testing phase. I’ve had numerous events happen in that time that have affected me and I’ve learned from them all. I’ve theorized a number of simple ways to improve and have formed a convenient way of thinking for myself without much fear of the results. I’ve had numerous ideas for personal projects of which few have been attempted but many relished in my mind. Regardless, all of this time has been spent thinking, pondering, and considering the world and even more so people in it. Both the people I know well and the people I don’t.
This blog is quite distinctly not my first and frankly not even my first attempt at its own creation and use. I often worried about writing a post that some or certain people might take offense or alternate interest in beyond its plain intention. I’ve worried about this often enough that it actually has prevented me from writing publicly in a blog setting for quite some time. I suppose I cannot say that this fear has completely disappeared but I can say that it has subsided in the last few years. It might be because I now old enough I’m not as easily offended, or maybe that I feel established enough in my life to let my words speak for themselves rather than my voice which would be so easily defended by my mind at the very moment of utterance.
I’ve been reading and following blogs since my early teens. For differing reasons and interests in them but I have always enjoyed the medium. One of the common trends I have seen through them is a certain, “Hello World” approach to the first entry in a blog. Usually a jot about the person or a list of likes and dislikes not too disimilar to an entry into a personals ad which I suppose makes sense as a personal blog would be just that, personal. Well if I have one desire in my own life it would be to inspire. I have always wanted to inspire someone to do the things they believe will make them happy, to follow a dream, or grow the courage to at least consider the possibilities they have in their lives. If I were to have a dream or goal in my lifetime it would be to inspire people. That is my inspiration for finally following through with an idea of my own personal blog. I’m not a self help guru, nor a highly educated person but I hope that maybe through my own experiences and thoughts that I can fulfill that goal. So with that I end this ominously verbose entry, not with a hello world of my own but rather a welcome to my world and the way I see things. You will probably not always agree or see things like I do, but I welcome you to my perspective.

less than three,
-Me